Don't Tell Anyone

The old school bingo community don't like them, they are old, angry, influential and ruthless. The Underground Rebel Bingo Club returned to Leeds under the guise School of Etiquette last night. After living in Ibiza for the summer, they have teamed up with Red Stag by Jim Bean to tour the United Kingdom. I have attended a few meetings, participants aren't referring to themselves as comrades, instead they're armed with a pen and paper and leaving their mark on each other. Literally! The Cockpit being the preferred venue this time, providing a raised stage for the hosts to conduct proceedings. Red Stag were on hand to assist with the build up, distributing more pens and placards to attendees. At this stage many people were already covered with ink; various names, slogans and profanity were visible everywhere. Don't tell mother!

I contributed to several faces with moustaches and masterpieces before the performers took to the stage and the event started. The introduction, as usual, was built around the theme but attention soon switched to the main agenda for the evening. The first prize offered was the Panda, with the task being to complete one line on the bingo card. I listened intently to everything from the stage and marked down the numbers. I was optimistic but this was short lived as I was soon waving goodbye, outfoxed panda'd again.. The next objective was to complete two lines for the chance to win a giant Piano keyboard. I continued marking down the numbers announced, eagerly informing my friend how many I had remaining until..

BINGO!

I'm sure I wasn't loud enough but it soon filtered through the crowd anyway. I climbed onto the stage and embraced the guy, staring out into the faces and waiting to hear the outcome. I seriously need a party trick, been asked that several times recently but that doesn't matter anymore because I'm a WINNER! And, I have a giant Piano keyboard!! This definitely increased my popularity, something about having a keyboard draped over you that makes people want to poke you and have their photo taken. Recommend it. Like I recommend attending Rebel Bingo! All that was missing was Vladimir Putin, there at the exit to compare his latest trophies. The other prizes were a Kigu, Customised Umbrella and an iPod Dock, Vladimir would have been proud. The objective now is to replicate Tom Hanks, Big (1988) and become an Internet phenomenon...