Friday, August 28, 2009

I Know This Because Tyler Knows This...

The Voice of a broken heartImage by WolfS♡ul via Flickr
I don't feel compelled to write about anything at the moment because of my current situaton. Instead I'm going to summarise a few posts from January that I feel are relevant.

I feel embarrassed, confused and betrayed and although I won't write the full extent of what has taken place I feel that a combination of personal issues, social networking sites and immaturity have ultimately led to the end of my relationship. The Facebook platform has become a stage for our friends audience to observe as our relationship comes apart at the seams. The post - It is naive to think our online lives are not connected to real-life - raises many of my concerns:

There seems to be a strange disconnect between our online and offline lives. Different rules, norms and values seem to apply. It is as if our online personality is not connected to our real life. We act differently and feel a sense of freedom online that seems to compensate for the restrains we might feel in real life.
The divide is affecting our judgement as the freedom we are granted begs the question where we draw the line in what's considered acceptable? I wouldn't feel comfortable having a disagreement in public but online we don't consider the consequences.

We are all actors in this massive online play and it allows us to do things we wouldn’t consider doing in real life.
Any person that changes their relationship status to 'It's complicated...' seriously has issues. Why announce that to the World? If you value your relationship then disconnect. Walk away from your online identity and address what's important in your life! I'm sure that your 'friends' will understand and respect you more for being responsible and doing what's right.

I met my recent partner of two/three years through MySpace with our introduction in the form of a Sneezing Panda. Drawn together as we both had children and were compelled to support each other through the difficulties we had to confront as single parents. The bond was strong and I never felt happier than when I was in her company. So where did it all go wrong?

Love is strong yet delicate. It can be broken. To truly love is to understand this. To be in love is to respect this. - Stephen Packer
To understand how another person truly feels is always difficult, maybe at times we take too much for granted and don't really feel that we're hurting someone. I know that if I were given the choice there are many aspects of the last few months that I would definitely change. I hope that's the same perspective from both sides but it doesn't seem that way!

Personally I feel that Facebook has been a factor in our problems. MySpace is reminiscent of a high school with all the different social cliques,
music industry culture and - back when I contributed anyway - you are protected to an extent by your alias but on Facebook you are represented by your name. Facebook has positioned itself as the essential form of interaction for our generation. Everyone you know is on Facebook and if you aren't available on the site then who are you?

As real-life and online behavior become more and more connected, entangled, you will find that it is less easy to separate them. Online and offline become the same life. While we see our online behavior as play now I doubt it will still be play in a few years.
The amount of exposure we're allowing of our lives for basically anyone to follow intently is a worry.

There are no boundaries anymore, what happened to privacy? Admittedly we're responsible for our actions and we're only using features available but there is still a line that is crossed so frequently! Behind a computer screen people change and it's not attractive. I'm disappointed and feel like I have my Back Against The Wall 'stuck here in between the shadows of my yesterday'.

Do you die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain? [Dark Knight]
My events from the last two/three years are displayed through Facebook like a timeline covering every aspect of our relationship. Which makes it all the more harder in the current situation. It's ironic that everything that has occurred has now travelled full cycle!

What happens next only Tyler knows..

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